Comfort in the Face of Conflict
Read Time: 11 min 49 secs
Moses said to the people, “Do not fear! Stand firm and see the salvation of the Lord that he will provide for you today; for the Egyptians that you see today you will never, ever see again. The Lord will fight for you, and you can be still.”
Exodus 14:13-14 NET
It’s been said that if you fail to plan, you plan to fail, but one of the most important parts of a plan that often goes forgotten is planning for your plan not to go totally according to plan. Simply put, you need to expect the unexpected and build in margin because of it. There should be room for the unexpected in your schedule. There should be room for the unexpected in your finances. There should be room for the unexpected in your plans and projects, and there should also be room for the unexpected when following God into what He has next for you.
The truth is that His thoughts are higher than our thoughts and His plans are higher than our plans. His promise is sure, but the path to get there is often different than what you’d imagine. This is why trust is so important, because while the route He takes us on is for the best, at times it can look like He is moving us towards the worst. Things often look more like a burden before you see the blessing. There's often more of a sense of disappointment than destiny. The journey often looks like more pain than promise, and it can bring about more confusion than comfort.
Lazarus wouldn't have predicted that the path to resurrection was through death. Joseph wouldn't have predicted that the path to the palace was through a pit. Abraham wouldn’t have predicted that the path to fatherhood was through infertility. And Gideon wouldn't have predicted that the path to victory was through a smaller army. While God may sometimes allow more conflict and confusion than we’d like, It’s all a test of faith designed to produce trust and endurance in our walk with God. It’s all for our good. The Children of Israel would grow to learn this more times than they would've wanted to, and we will have to do the same.
Destined for Disappointment
Follow the story with me. After being the saviors of an empire, they've found themselves enslaved to one, seemingly abandoned by the God who promised to claim them as His people. Slavery builds a psychological callus on the minds of generations as they come to believe that their safety and value are tied to what they can produce and provide for themselves. Generations upon generations begin to carry and reinforce the weight of this mindset and this oppression. Imagine the muscles of fear that build while muscles of faith wither?
They finally build up enough courage to cry out for a savior, and God hears. Now there's a sense of hope. But can you imagine that hope being dashed when Moses goes to Pharaoh and Pharaoh responds by making their workload even more brutal? It’s like it keeps getting worse before it gets better. This is beginning to look more like pain than promise. The Israelites complain that Moses is trying to kill them before God speaks and reminds Moses and the people of His promise. Now there's hope again. God performs amazing miracles in the presence of Pharaoh through Moses and Aaron. But Pharaoh still refuses to listen. More disappointment. This pattern of twists and turns, hopes and disappointment, goes on for ten plagues. Moses musters the courage to go again, and Pharaoh gives signs of budging. They believe that God has finally freed them, and then boom. Pharaoh refuses again. Couldn't God have sent them on an easier path? A shorter path? Or at least a less emotionally volatile one.
Have you experienced this in your own life? As soon as you're making headway in your debt payoff journey, another expense rears its ugly head. As soon as you think you're healed, something else opens the wound. As soon as you start to imagine the new job, they hire someone else. Set up and disappoint. It almost makes you never want to dream again.
Sympathize with the Struggle
This is something we all can sympathize with, and that sympathy can help us in both life and leadership. One author argues that people aren't crazy; they're just reacting to feelings and facts that are very real to them but might not be impacting you in the same way. The person born into a recession may view the same situation much differently than one born into secure wealth. The person who has early memories of seeing terminal illness take their family members may view things differently than the person who has never even had allergies. Understanding these complex emotions can help us in walking with those around us who are reacting and responding to them. Remember this volatile emotional history when we take a snapshot of the Israelites in chapter 14. They’ve been through a lot, so it’s not easy to just flip on a switch of trusting God in the face of storms. The same is true with many of us.
Yes, like us, they've seen God move. But they've also been disappointed. While God is a good husband, like a victim of former abuse, they still instinctively flinch when He lifts His hand. They've seen miracles performed and doors opened. But there still may be some skepticism. There still may be some fear of disappointment. God is trying to prove that they can trust Him, but for centuries, abuse and exploitation have taught them that they can only trust themselves. So when God takes them the long way to the promised land instead of through Philistine territory, they follow with apprehension instead of appreciation. God is trying to lead them away from conflict, but they don't even realize God is protecting them because they're too busy anticipating the next problem. This is why they're already on edge emotionally when they find themselves at a dead end.
The sea is on one side, the mountains are on the other, and a raging army is closing in. They're stuck. The doubts they tried to fight off are seemingly coming true. Everything God and Moses told them to trust in seems to be crumbling. Their trauma begins to speak louder than their trust.
It’s like the person who experienced abandonment and rejection in the past giving up and running away as soon as there are signs of shakiness in their current relationship. It’s like the person who failed and got embarrassed before throwing in the towel so that they don’t get hurt again. When they see the potential of another problem, they panic. They get defensive. Honestly, they get scared. No wonder they started to complain.
Yes, God said to expect this. Yes, they saw the pillar of fire and cloud that was protecting them. But many of us do the same thing when the face of our former slave master starts to come into view. The Bible says that they panic. And the same way they once cried out for a savior, they now cry out against him.
Moses, didn't we say this would happen? Moses, you're trying to kill us! We knew you didn't know what you were doing. We knew all along you weren't one of us. We knew you were too old to lead us! We know we asked for a savior, but slavery was better than this! Isn't it crazy how present pain can make you believe that going back to slavery is better than walking into your salvation?
Comforting the Complainers
It sounds crazy, but this is how many of us sound. We agree to the path until it gets hard. We celebrate the promise until it gets painful. We ask for saviors until they start saving. And Moses could've easily thrown in the towel. And this is what many of us do when we feel attacked unjustly. You’ve experienced it if you’ve ever tried to lead or love a complex human. A lifeguard has to fight the urge to let people drown when, in fear, they fight the person who came to rescue them. Moses could've left them high and dry and gone back to the wilderness he came from. He could've joined them in their complaints and criticisms and pointed out how much better their lives were because of him. They were farther than they'd ever been. They had Egyptian wealth they had never had before. How dare they complain and accuse him when he stuck his neck out for them? They saw God show up when, for hundreds of years, He seemed silent. They should be more grateful and trusting, but instead of complaining with them, Moses comforts them.
Ministry leaders, corporate leaders, pastors, and parents hear me. This is stellar leadership. Leadership is like being a doctor. People will often call you at the most inconvenient times and act like it's your fault and not theirs when their choices lead them down a bad path. They ask you to help, and you agree only for them to get mad at every suggestion you give. They’ll crucify you when they experience the consequences of refusing to follow the instruction that both of you agreed to follow, and if they do listen, they'll often fail to give credit when what you said works. It's a thankless job. And when people start to critique, complain, crucify, and condemn your character, it's a lot easier to confront than comfort. It’s easier to tell them about themselves and defend yourself. But Moses chooses the high road.
Our passage is found in Exodus 14:13-14. Moses boldly turns their attention to the character of their Savior and not the climate of the situation. When thousands of people are accusing you of trying to kill them and you feel stressed, stuck and inadequate too, it’s so much easier to defend yourself. But Moses focuses on Jesus’ character instead of defending his own.
Moses compassionately and courageously shouts, Don't be afraid! Stand firm and stand tall. Yes, I know you are used to fighting for everything on your own, but this time God has given you a front row, court-side seat, to see the salvation He will provide. The Lord will rescue you. He will prove that you can rest in Him. Remember that promise. Remember the good. Remember His character and don't get stuck on what you don't yet understand. This is all part of the plan. God is still in control. The problems that kept coming up in the past are going to be done with. Eradicated. You won't have to go back. Stay strong! Keep trusting! Keep going! Stop bracing yourself for trouble. Unclench your jaw and loosen your shoulders. Take a deep breath. I know it's hard. I know history has shown you hurt, but it's time to build new synapses and expectations. God’s character is good, and His promise is still sure. This is your reminder. Be still and remember that He is God.
Leading with Love
Moses is mature and sympathetic enough to know that their complaints and criticisms aren't really targeted at him as much as they are a response to their hurt. They're cries for help from people who don't yet have the words to articulate their desperation, so he targets the source of their fear—their lack of focus. They saw the storm instead of the Savior, so they understandably started to lose their minds. We do the same thing.
But the critics of their commander are met with comfort instead of more conflict. Moses doesn't fight fire with fire. Moses can hear the fear behind their fight and the anxiety behind their accusations, so instead of fighting back, he comforts. And I want to praise God for the fact that when all we can do is cry, blame, doubt, and fight, He responds the same way. Thomas, He sees under our doubt enough to let us put our finger in His side. Peter, He sees under our denial enough to come back, forgive you, and cook your breakfast. He doesn't walk away when we walk out. Instead, He comes chasing. Isn't that good news?
There's a children’s movie my wife loves where, in a literal Red Sea-like scene, the movie's savior is being pursued by a monster. But instead of running from what everyone else ran from and abandoned, the savior calmly and compassionate walks towards it. As they get within ear shot, the savior begins to remind the monster of the beauty they possess. They remind them that they don’t have to be what everyone said they were. And as the savior sees the monster, knows the monster, and embraces the monster, the monster's terrifying shell begins to fall off. The love of the savior begins to melt away everything the monster set up to defend itself after being hurt. Here’s the good news about God. While others have run from our defensive and destructive reactions to hurt, He runs towards them. He doesn’t run from your adverse, fear-driven reactions; instead, He moves in closer to comfort. And like a husband or wife who slowly and courageously helps to love their spouse out of the defensive reactions and walls they set up to protect themselves from hurt in priority relationships, it’s His comfort that melts away your stony exterior.
Leaders and emulators of Christ, my question is, can we do the same? Are we healed enough to meet harm with healing instead of more harm? When people raise their voices at us, do we see their inner child screaming for help? You don't attack a baby for crying when it's hungry. You recognize that they don't yet have the language or emotional maturity to communicate politely. When people cry out around us, do we see a slave who doesn't yet know how else to find comfort? Martin Luther King Jr. said that riot is often the language of the unheard. Do we see explosive, destructive, and seemingly unnecessary reactions as one sees the cries of a baby who has no idea how else to get its mother's attention? Do we sympathize with the sick and suffering enough to see them?
Even if we don’t yet, God does, and that’s good news. He sees how scared you are and is telling you to trust Him. Stand firm on the promise and keep moving towards it. Don't abandon ship and go back to fighting on your own. Trust that He is in control.
Stand Firm
I don't know if you see yourself more as an Israelite or more as Moses. I don't know whether you are being called to trust God enough to let Him fight or trust God enough to love the people who’re fighting you. I don't know what you find yourself stuck between. But the thing is, God’s instruction is an answer to both. You may be someone fighting the fear of moving forward into your promise because you have faced so much disappointment in the past. Maybe you’ve had so much experience with people walking out that it's hard to believe God won't. Maybe father wounds make it hard for you to believe God really wants to love you and give you identity. Maybe financial wounds may make it hard for you to believe God wants to provide all you need. Various factors in your life have probably made it more realistic for you to have fear than faith, but God is calling you forward.
Moses, maybe you're struggling with something similar. You already felt like an outcast. Too Hebrew for the Egyptians and too Egyptian for the Hebrews. Yeah, they asked for a leader, but it's often hard for people to accept leadership from an outsider. You already have doubts and fears tied to your lack of ability and the people’s lack of belief, but God is saying the same thing to you. Stand firm and watch. Stand tall. Keep going. I know their cries are compounding, and they don't understand the vision God gave you. I know they're questioning your character when you're only following the voice of God, and it feels lonely. But soon, you too won't see these Egyptians again. You will move on from this stage. Remember who has been fighting for you this whole time and keep going.
Maybe you're Moses. Maybe you're the Israelites. Maybe you're both. But my message to you is the same. Stand firm. Don’t be afraid. Everything may look like it's crashing down and the pressure may be building, but the God who was with you before will be with you again. Stand strong on that belief. Stand firm on that promise. And watch the salvation, deliverance, and relief that God brings.
Questions to Consider:
What storm is God asking you to stand firm in as you refocus your faith?
How can you better sympathize with and serve those who are harder to lead and love? How can you love them through the walls they may have put up?
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