Building in Exile
Read Time: 16 min 15 secs
The Lord God of Israel who rules over all says to all those he sent into exile to Babylon from Jerusalem, ‘Build houses and settle down. Plant gardens and eat what they produce. Marry and have sons and daughters. Find wives for your sons and allow your daughters get married so that they too can have sons and daughters. Grow in number; do not dwindle away. Work to see that the city where I sent you as exiles enjoys peace and prosperity. Pray to the Lord for it. For as it prospers you will prosper.’
Jeremiah 29:4-7 NET
I want you to imagine it. You are among the exiled Israelites when you hear that there is a word from God! You’ve been stuck in a foreign land, away from everything you once held dear and seemingly away from your God, but now comes a glimmer of hope. There is a word from the God who felt so silent. Everyone gathers together as the elders silence the crowd. There is a tangible excitement as the people wait in anticipation of what God may say. They have been in Babylonian exile, away from their home and culture, but God was about to speak. This is the God who led them out of Egypt. This is the God who parted the Red Sea. This is the God who made Jericho fall. Surely this message would be one of hope and rescue. Surely God is coming to save them.
You can imagine the children of Israel already packing their bags as they expect God to call for another exodus. Maybe parents start to imagine that their children will be chosen to be the next Moses or Joshua-like figure to lead them into their future. Maybe they start planning their escape and putting in their two-week notice, just expecting that God is going to lead them to something better.
The leaders take their place, and the crowd shushes themselves as they begin to read aloud the message from God. Here it goes. This must be an exodus from their excruciating exile, but the first words of the letter are, “Build houses, settle down and plan to stay.” Whoa. Did I hear that right? God, you know we're in exile, right? What do you mean, plan to stay? You should be rescuing us from this destructive and destitute place. This is no place for the people of God to reside. Surely you may mean to stay for a few more hours or maybe some days... but not long-term?
And what do you mean, build a house? You mean in the promised land? That would make sense, but why would I build one here? I thought you were coming to rescue us. These instructions sound like they'll take a while. It doesn't sound like you're coming to rescue me any time soon. What do you mean, put down roots and settle down? I’d get it if you said get a tent or something I could tear down quickly when you rescue me tomorrow, in the coming weeks, or even in a month or two, but a house seems too permanent.
I can imagine the confused crowd questioning God as the elders continue, “Plant gardens and eat what they produce. Marry and have children.” Ok God. The house was one thing, but you really want me to invest in and cultivate this land I've been banished to? And then you want me to marry and have kids? You want me to get to know people and build genuine relationships in a season I'm expecting to be temporary? You want me to date around and find someone? It was already hard to date in Israel, but is anyone or anything good still left in this barren land? Let’s see how long that takes. You want us to date and plan a wedding. Ok, so that's a few years. Then kids? That's a few more years. And let me make sure I'm hearing you right. You don't want me to just marry and have kids. You want me to raise them well and help them get married and have kids too? You want me to build a legacy in this God-forsaken place?
This message would seem like it's going against the character of God. It brings up two points of tension. First, why would a good God allow His children to find themselves in a place of exile, and second, why would He supposedly leave them there when they've asked to be rescued? Why would God allow His people to stay put in a season of weight and brokenness? When the Israelites cried out in Egypt, He saved them; why not now? Jesus’ name literally means God saves, and you are trying to tell me that He isn't going to save me from this forsaken place, immediately?
Many of us can identify with this questioning feeling. Has God ever allowed you to sit, supposedly stagnant, as storms rage around you? You know God has called you to more, but you seem to be left sitting stuck, as you are forced to acknowledge that your current reality is far below the destiny He once showed you. Other people are being saved, and you aren't. What God showed you is working elsewhere but not where you're at. God allowed you to hold on to the vision and maybe even some experiences with the promised land, but it seems like He has barred you from setting foot in it. Maybe you listened to God and moved forward, but now you feel lonelier and wearier than ever. Maybe you are now wondering if you even heard His voice right the first time, as He seems silent after the step of obedience. Maybe you've felt like His presence has left your home, your church, or your life journey. Maybe your marriage feels like an exile from which there is no escape. Maybe the career God led you to feels like more of a dead end than a destiny. Maybe you feel stuck as visions of what could've been haunt you. Or maybe things just haven't worked out or gone in the direction you would've liked. While our current exiles may not be Babylon, we all have things we seem to be bound to. And they leave us asking questions as to why a sovereign God would allow us to be stuck in suffocating storms for so long.
Disappointment and disillusionment are something we don't talk about enough in the body of Christ. Maybe Joseph asked the same questions when 13 years of prison and Potiphar haunted him before he would set foot in the palace. Maybe David questioned in a similar manner when he found himself a fugitive instead of the king God called him to be. And if you're emotionally and intellectually honest enough, you can too find yourself asking the same questions. Why has God allowed this storm to rage for so long? Why has He seemingly allowed evil to prosper? And how in the world am I supposed to see through what He is allowing and still trust His heart when I don't understand His hand? How do I still believe that God is a good God who works all things out for my good when the things He allows seem more destructive than divine? How do I react when news of my exile is delivered with an announcement that the Savior will come 70 years after expected?
There are a few points from this passage that I believe we can pull out to find peace in the midst of the problems and solace in the midst of the storms. They can sound out of touch and inconsiderate. Much like Paul's command not to worry about anything but pray about everything, it can sound like it disregards the very real pains we face, but could it be that the instruction is actually the key to the rest for the weary that many of us crave?
Each point centers around what Jeremiah says towards the end of our passage. He tells them to work for the peace and prosperity of the problematic place they find themselves in, for as it prospers, they will prosper. I believe God is saying the same thing to us. Our well-being in the future is often tied to how we sow into the current season, regardless of how exile-like it feels. Our experience is often tied to how we treat exile. And God, through Jeremiah, is saying that if we want to excel in exile, we have to build, plant, and marry. What does that look like?
Build a Home
To build a home is to be present. There's a phrase that says, “be where your feet are.” It simply means to be fully present where you are when you are there. Don't take the mental stress of work into the living room with your kids. Don't spend so much time daydreaming about your future job that you neglect your present. And in so many words, I believe this is the first thing God is telling the Israelites and us to do if we’re going to survive and thrive in our exile seasons. Build a home. Be there. Be present, not just physically but emotionally.
This is hard and can even seem dangerous, because fully acknowledging and experiencing the emotions that come with a season of exile can feel as overwhelming as drinking from an emotional fire hydrant. It feels dangerous to open that door of acknowledgment and to really admit the situation and feelings surrounding the situation we find ourselves in. Sometimes high achievers have a way of seemingly turning off their emotions to move through a challenging season, but God is calling you not to ignore but to acknowledge. God is saying to be present because He cannot help you to gain from what you refuse to grasp. You can't learn from what you don't look at. And many of us are avoiding acknowledgment, and it is keeping us stuck. We won't truly acknowledge the hurt, questions, and disappointment of the season. We don't cry out and tell God how we really feel. We won't sit in our situation long enough to admit what we may be called to learn moving forward.
In order to go to the next grade, you have to acknowledge the lessons you are learning in the current grade. This is going to take you committing. This is going to take you giving your full self to the situation, no matter how much you would've wished for it to be different. If you are going to grow, you have to build a home and stop running from what you are experiencing. Be honest about the marriage, why it is bothering you, and what you're contributing to it. Be honest about the job placement, the city, the situation or the storm, and examine it long enough for God to reveal what you are called to do with it and take from it.
This is the foundational truth we must come to understand if the other instructions are to bear fruit in our lives. If we don't build a proverbial home, become present and committed to our context, we won't experience the prosperity that comes with planting in our exile or the relational benefits that God is calling us to embrace.
Choose Home
One author argues that your best yes is the product of a firm no. In order to really say yes to a wife, you have to say no to other women. In order to truly say yes to a job in one city, you have to say no to other cities. You cannot have your cake and eat it too with a real yes. And in order to build our house and give God our best yes in the season we’re currently in, so that we can build what is necessary to go to the next level personally, professionally, or relationally, He will give opportunities to reevaluate and rededicate to our current season.
Can I give an example of a pattern I've seen God allow in my personal and professional life? I've been honored to receive a handful of invitations and feelers asking if I would not just visit and speak at, but be willing to pastor various congregations across the United States. From the onset of my pastoral career, I've been asked at various levels of seriousness to pastor between eight and twelve different contexts across the East Coast, West Coast, North, and South. And judging by the fact that I've only pastored at Shiloh in Cincinnati before being asked by my conference to pastor Bethel and New Hope in Cleveland and Canton, you can infer that God has shut more doors than He has opened, and I've been led to say no to a lot more opportunities than I've said yes to. But each time I've said no to moving on, it's really served as a call to give a further commitment to my current context. I want you to catch this. Each no was more so choosing and recommitting to where I was at than it was simply saying no to another opportunity. Saying no to an opportunity is often giving a new yes to your current reality and committing to what God was doing in a current context. I believe God didn't take me out of churches when He could’ve because I wasn't done yet, but He gave opportunities I'd have to pray through to push me to rechoose and recommit to the situation I was planted in. It's renewing the lease. It's signing the extension. It's making the decision again to build a home, not just physically but emotionally. Saying no to a potential home was really me deciding to be where my feet are and further commit to my current home.
While it is nice to receive the vote of confidence that your gifts have made room for you and that others see what God is doing in and through you, more than all, I believe God has often allowed these opportunities to teach me how to say no, and those seasons of giving a sometimes hard no forced me to give another more complete yes to my current season. It's interesting that these opportunities seem to always come before my current context goes through something that will require my full attention spiritually or emotionally. I remember while at Shiloh, right before a hard moment for the church that would require a lot from me emotionally and spiritually, I got an opportunity to move to one of my favorite cities that many of my friends are in, and God led me to say no. But remember, it was more of me choosing to say yes to Shiloh than no to the other opportunity. I said yes and renewed my proverbial lease to be with Shiloh spiritually and emotionally, not knowing that I'd need to recommit in order to thrive and not quit in the season that was coming. It’s like God gives me an opportunity, through a no to one thing, to say yes again to another and recommit to the journey before a storm that may tempt me to jump ship.
I’ve actually experienced this partly in my own relational life and talked to other married couples about how they’ve seen examples in their own, but right as God was leading me to pursue marriage with my wife, it's like God allowed women I may have had loose ends with or opportunities with to re-emerge so that in saying no to them I could more concretely say yes to my journey with my now wife. I had to shut down the options when fully choosing the opportunity I felt God was calling me to. Maybe you'll see this pattern in your career or current context? What is God asking you to build a home in so that He can develop what He wants to in and through you? All of this is allowed so that you can build a home and give your all to a current context, even when at times it feels like exile. This is important if you are going to fully reap everything that God has for you in this current context. You cannot keep daydreaming about what could be if you desire to make the most of what is. You have to build a home and stop renting out mental real estate to what could've been.
Plant Gardens
Jeremiah doesn't just tell us to settle down and be present within our storm-like seasons; he tells us to plant gardens and invest while in the midst of exile. He says plant, cultivate, and enjoy the produce of gardens even while in the season you wish were temporary. David says that those who sow in tears will reap a harvest of joy. The problem with many of us is what we stop planting when we don't like the conditions. Civilians hate rain, but farmers love it. Investors know how to buy the dip. That means that they don't wait until a stock is at its best to buy it; they actually recognize that the best time to plant and invest is when conditions look the worst to everyone else. Could it be we aren't seeing fruit in our exile-like seasons because we aren't committed enough to plant while in them?
What does planting look like? It is using your current season as the fertile ground in which fruit for the next season takes root. A slow season in business may be time to build infrastructure for the next. A difficult season may be time for you to build discipline for the next. What do you have the opportunity to build now before the blessing comes?
Oftentimes, the hard times are the best times to plant. They're the best times to cultivate gifts and develop competency. It's best to practice the show before the lights turn on and the crowd is watching. Hard practice makes an easy game. David and Moses learned to lead in the pasture, not the palace or the promised land. Use exile to develop when no one is watching. Use exile to make mistakes and learn from them. Use exile as a developmental dark room before pursuing the exposure of the next season. Plant gardens and eat of their fruit while in exile. As the prophet Zechariah stated, don't despise small beginnings, for the Lord is pleased to see work begin. What feels like exile is more of a blessing than a curse to those who want to invest.
Get Married
We aren't just told to invest into ourselves, were told to invest into others. It's one thing to build a house and be present, not just physically but emotionally, in what you are considering a season of exile. It's another thing to see it as an opportunity to plant and harvest. But it may be even harder to take the emotional risk of building relationships in a season that feels like exile.
Because of how much emotional work and risk forming relationships takes, many of us avoid showing vulnerability and building deep and meaningful relationships with others, especially if we don't believe we will be in a season long-term. But Jeremiah is saying to those exiled to not just marry, but have kids, let your kids have kids, and build genuine families and relationships while you feel stuck. Don't neglect relational growth while in a season you would rather not be in.
It’s easy for many of us to think, "This is temporary and less than ideal, so I'll just put my head down and avoid connection until it’s over.” It’s easy to think it's best to avoid the risk of relationships and enduring the strain of getting to know new people and building intimacy with people who may be different from us. However, God is saying that even in exile, it's important to connect. I’d argue that exile is actually one of the best places to connect, and when we avoid intimacy, we're actually squandering one of our best opportunities.
Some of the people who will go with you to the top will be found at the bottom. Some of the people who will open doors for you later will be those you develop relationships with when all doors seem to be closed. One wise man once said the janitor is the only person in the building with all the keys. Don't despise the relational opportunity you have when in a season that feels like the bottom.
I’ve had and seen others have some pretty cool opportunities, and it’s almost never because they politicked or pushed for a position. People can see through that. Opportunities typically come when you genuinely love, care for, value, and sacrifice for the regular, everyday, and often forgotten people in your life. It's often the people everyone else seems to forget that have a voice with the people everyone seems to be trying to impress. Love the people you are with in exile, and they’ll often lead you to experience more later.
Your Next is Dependent on Your Now
The main thing I want you to get from this is that I believe Jeremiah is telling us in this passage that our next is dependent on our now. If you ignore the work and responsibility of high school because you're too busy thinking about college, you'll never make it to college. If you cannot give your all to your current context even when it's below the vision God gave you, you'll miss out on the needed lessons that are required for you to go to the next level. The prosperity of the people, places, and problems you experience in exile are directly correlated to the prosperity you'll receive back. Yes, it's hard. It's easy to ignore and avoid exile. It's easy to discount and despise it. But anyone who has soared has served. God couldn't trust Joseph to be the second in command of the most powerful country in the world until He sympathized with slaves and prisoners. God couldn't trust David to lead until he spent time around other brokenhearted men and cared for them like sheep.
What feels like exile is really an opportunity, and the return you get is dependent on how much you invest. I get it. The situation with your career, family, calling, or future looks bleak. It's not where you imagined you’d be. But maybe this is a setup to prepare you. Maybe God allowed this as a prerequisite to your answered prayer? Could it be that how you steward this season is directly correlated to how you'll handle the next? That is why I’d like to call you to the same commission as Jeremiah. Build, plant, and marry. What you give to this season is planting the seeds for the fruit you'll eat from in the next. So while in exile, build — be present, plant — invest, and marry — form relationships. Your work in the dark will be what powers prosperity when things come to the light.
Questions to Consider:
What in your life feels or has felt like an exile? When was a time when you were in a season that wasn't what you envisioned and may have even felt like you were abandoned?
How did, or how can you foresee, the lessons learned in an exile season providing fruit for you and your family to eat from?
How can you build a house, plant a garden, and build a family in your current context?
